Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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