my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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