Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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