Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
