Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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