Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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