there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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