I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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