He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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