You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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