I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
