If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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