Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
