Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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