he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This baby is an asshole
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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