Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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