To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
