You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
