dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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