She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
