If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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