is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
