so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
