he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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