Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize