We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Buhtt sex?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
