I've blown a few things in my day
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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