where am i from again
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
