help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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