how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
