white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
