Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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