Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
