The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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