Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
