2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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