I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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