I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
