He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize