brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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