Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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