please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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