i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I look better un-naked...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
