I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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