I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
