I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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