Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
