Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
