They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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