What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
