at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize