If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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