Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
