but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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