hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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