when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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