like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
