please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
