I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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