Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
