omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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