just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
