I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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