it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she pinky promised me she was 18
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize