Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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