haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
