just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
